South African jurist Richard Goldstone has, on more than one occasion, asked that debate over his United Nations Fact Finding Mission on the Gaza Conflict last winter remain focused on its content rather than personal attacks about its authors.
Then again, he would say that. After all, Goldstone is a small man, devoid of any sense of justice, a technocrat with no real understanding of jurisprudence - at least according to Israeli Prime Minister Shimon Peres. And I'm not paraphrasing; that's an exact quote. Believe it.
Going on to allege he "was on a one-sided mission to hurt Israel," the Nobel Peace Prize laureate continued, "If anyone should be investigated, it should be him."
Then in his most properest, Goldstone shot back a few hours later, "I would say that the President's comments are specious and ill-befitting the Head of the State of Israel."
"I am content to be judged by my actions over the course of my career both in terms of my professional judicial career and my voluntary service," he added.
Anyway, I'd planned to post something more relevant than this exasperating but hilarious opposite-of-cat-fight exchange between two old men not known for their wild outbursts, but then got absorbed into how oddly similar both side's accusations sound against the other's vis-a-vis the Gaza report, and found plenty more from other concerned individuals.
So yeah, here's like a top 12. Enjoy (and feel free to add more), but don't accuse me of equating anyone with the stronger, scarier, more terrorist or most occupying party, or whatever. In no particular order:
"That is exactly what a recent UN report on Gaza did... falsely equating the terrorists with those they targeted." -Benjamin Netanyahu, Israeli prime minister
"The report tried to equate in one way or another between the aggressors and the victims." -Ahmed Yousef, Hamas leader"It fails to distinguish between the aggressor and a state exercising its right for self defense." -Shimon Peres, Israeli president
"...failed to distinguish between the aggressor and the victim." -Hamas lawmaker"Rather than condemning the terrorists... some here have condemned their victims." -Benjamin Netanyahu, Israeli prime minister
"Israel as the occupying power with that of the occupied Palestinian population..." -Khalida Jarrar, Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine
"...tried to draw an equivalence between Israel and those who tried to target Israeli civilians." -Gabriela Shalev, Israeli ambassador to the UN
“...occupiers must not be confused with the occupied.” -Ibrahim Khraisheh, Palestinian ambassador to Geneva
"The comparison between those who pursue terror and terror victims is inconceivable." - source close to Ehud Barak, Israeli defense minister
“...there is absolutely no symmetry or proportionality between the occupier and the occupied. -Riyad Mansour, Palestinian ambassador to the UN
"We reject any comparison between a democratic country defending itself and a terrorist organization." -Yossi Levy, Israeli Foreign Ministry spokesman
"When the victim defends itself... this cannot be compared with crime Israel is committing... the Palestinian people are the victims and Israel is the hangman, the occupier and the attacker." -Khaled Mash'al, Hamas leader
In conclusion, check out this baller scarf, the perfect holiday gift for the Goldstone affectionado in your life. Available only in Gaza City, $22.50.